Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. PROVERBS 19:21
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9
Friday July 24 8:30 pm
I had been having stronger Braxton hicks contractions for a few days and tonight they got closer together and a lot stronger. So, we decided to go to the hospital to monitor them and see if we could stop them since I was only 34 weeks pregnant according to my estimated due date. (We had not had an ultrasound at all during my pregnancy at this point and had no idea whether we were having a boy or a girl.)
I was hesitant to even go in to the hospital because we were planning a home birth and I had my heart set on having the baby at home in our tub like we did with Jase. I didn't want to use meds or drugs during my pregnancy and birth and so I wanted to steer clear of the hospital but since it was so early on in my pregnancy to give birth to our baby we needed to be positive I wasn't going into preterm labor. If I was going into labor it would be best if it could be stopped so that the baby could make it to term and I could have a home birth. At this point a home birth wasn't an option until I was over 36 weeks along.
At the hospital my contractions were monitored right away and were showing pretty strong and very close together so they decided it was best to do an ultrasound and get a better estimate of how far along I really was since our estimated due date was only based on irregular periods and how far along I was measuring during my pregnancy. If I was only 34 weeks like we thought they would want me to take meds to try and stop the labor. At this point I was not dilated at all... Just having contractions.
After a long ultrasound that we both looked away for because we did not want to know the gender of our baby we sat and waited to hear if my due date of September 4 was correct or not. The dr came in a short while later and it was confirmed that our due date was sept 4 and that I was 34 weeks along. The dr also had some more news to tell us.... News that would end my dream of having a home birth and news that would change our lives forever. Only, at the time I didn't know how much it would change my life and heart... For the better.
Throughout my entire pregnancy (this one and my pregnancy with Jase) I had a very specific prayer that I prayed. It is one that I pray about a lot of things in my life.... NOT MY WILL BUT YOURS BE DONE LORD.... As badly as I desired to have a home birth and to bring my baby right up to my chest from mikes arms my prayer was always that whether I had a home birth or ended up in the hospital that I would be content and praise the Lord because I knew that it was His Will for my birth and our baby. I know that He is sovereign over all things and that He already knew the day my baby would enter this world and how he/she would enter into this world.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mothers womb. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
My prayer was always about God blessing me with a child of His.
Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,
Not about having a healthy baby or having my perfect dream birth. I just wanted whatever it was the King of Kings wanted for me. Whoever he chose for me to be blessed with being the mama of is what my heart longed for. Whenever people would say things like "well all you can hope for is a healthy baby" or "as long as they have all their fingers and toes" or "just as long as he or she is healthy then you'll be happy" I would pray in my head Lord just give me the child you made for me . The one you formed for me to be the mother of. If you choose for me to be blessed with a baby who is sick or needs extra care... I PRAISE YOU. If you give me a healthy baby.... I PRAISE YOU. I know you don't make mistakes. I know you have all things planned out perfectly and I know that you are the author of everything GOOD!!! In every situation and trial. My prayer was the same during my pregnancy with Jase and he turned out healthy and I was blessed with my dream birth at home.
This time around I was going to be blessed just the same as with Jase only in a completely different way and with a completely different story and birth.
This time around I've drawn closer to God than ever before. This time around I have seen the sweet sweet love and grace of Jesus like I've never before experienced before... that my heart so desperately longs for but doesn't deserve.... This time around there have been trials, fears, grace, mercy, and miracles only a God as wondrous as ours could be the author of. This time around I would not change a single thing about my birth and my baby. The baby God chose for me and Mikey to love on, nurture, and teach about Jesus to. Our sweet angel. BABY LUCA MICHAEL BISUTTI. Born July 26, 2015!!!
1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.