The news of the ultrasound....
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Friday July 24 10:30pm
The dr came in to talk to us about our ultrasound. He confirmed that I was exactly 34 weeks along and that my due date was sept 4. But he also had some more news for us. The news that would send our hearts racing with fears and unanswered questions about our little baby growing inside of me. News that would end our plans of having a home birth and end our plans of bringing our sweet baby right up to my chest to nurse and bond. News that would completely change everything and uproot us from Montana to Seattle for a minimum of six weeks.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
The doctor told us that our baby had either an omphalocele or a gastrochesis. Both are abdominal wall defects that happen very early on in pregnancy and in both cases the intestines never went inside of the baby's body. (The fetus starts out with the intestines growing outside the body and during the first trimester they go inside and the stomach closes over) an omphalocele would be a lot tougher of a condition than gastroschisis because it could also include other conditions like chromosomal defects, neural tube defect, cardiac anomalies, and high mortality rate. Gastroschisis would more than likely only include the defect and possible food aversions in the future. Gastroschisis typically takes place in a mother who is 25 and under. Both conditions would require us to have the baby in a hospital that is equipped with surgeons who specialize in correcting the defect. Our best option was Seattle Childrens Hospital. It would require immediate care in the NICU and a minimum stay of 6 weeks at the hospital for recovery. The dr said that it was looking like an omphalocele but that they couldn't be 100% certain and that a more in depth ultrasound with a specialist would need to take place on Monday. If it was omphalocele then there could be heart and cardiac issues as well as chromosomal defects and so our stay in Seattle could be a lot longer as well as the mortality rate.
After the dr left the room my eyes swelled up with tears. I started to fear the future and all of the what ifs that could not be answered at this time. I began thinking about how I would not be able to nurse my baby or even hold my baby after he or she was born. I began thinking of all the pain my baby would be in and the long road ahead of us. How would we get to Seattle? When would we go? What about our 18 month old Jase? What happens concerning him through all of this? Will my baby make it? Will I have to have a C section? Fears flooding through my head... The unknown can be such a scary place.
Mike and I held each other with tears in our eyes thinking about our sweet baby inside of me. Our midwife comforted us and reminded us of the blessing that we didn't have the baby at home without knowing this.
Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it?
It was so obvious that God was already working in all of this. His plans were being fulfilled. He was already protecting our little angel before we even knew it. His divine orchestration of grace and showing us through an ultrasound we never would have gotten if I wasn't having these consistent contractions that our baby needed to be born a different way than we had planned. That our baby needed special care right after birth. He was saving us, loving on us, and revealing to us a new plan... His plan. His will for our birth and our baby that He had blessed us with and formed in my womb.
"I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. Job 42:2
The dr came back in and told me that I should take a pill to try to stop the contractions even though I was not dilated. He told me that on Monday I would meet with the ultrasound specialist and she would be able to tell us more and give us a gameplan for having the baby in Seattle and that she could confirm whether or not it was omphalocele or Gastroschisis.
So I took the pill and was monitored for a little longer and at 1:30 am I was sent home from the hospital. Still not dilated and not in real labor.
Mike and I were so thankful on the drive home that God revealed this to us in His perfect timing and saved us from bringing our baby into the world without knowing about the baby's immediate needs. We praised God. We praised Him for being so loving and gracious to us. We trusted Him with the road ahead and with our sweet child. We were both still saddened and grieving and I still had a lot of fears.
When we arrived home my mom was waiting for me and I told her the news and cried in her arms. We all prayed together before going to sleep that night.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - To every [thing there is] a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
In bed I tossed and turned... I kept thinking about how everything was going to play out. I was in shock from the news and from everything completely changing. We had nothing ready for the baby. We would have tons of stuff to pack and take to Seattle. We still didn't know when we would have to leave or where we would give birth once we were there. At this point it was just a bunch of unknowns and what ifs.
The LORD is righteous in all His ways, and holy in all his works" (Psalms 145:17).
One thing was for certain though... God knew. There weren't any mistakes about anything that had taken place. There was no mistake when our baby was formed. Gods plan and will cannot be thwarted. He is the sovereign king over all.